Ok, so you’re in your thirties… oh and you want kids because you may just have two eggs left maybe 4. You pride yourself on being a diva I mean you’ve built a glorious career and amassed an unrivaled collection of shoes. Louis Vuitton, Jimmy Choo, Manolo Blahnik, Giuseppe, the list goes on. That diva word does not bother you one bit, diva denotes character, success, a no nonsense type of lady. You are a whole person hoping to find a suitable asset, I mean a man that can co-pilot your destination. 

 You start thinking where’s the man factory? Consequently, you’ve dated 5 guys in the past six months and they all lacked that “Je ne se qui?”. I mean he is just not the one. Why? because he did not ride in on the white horse you envisioned. Honestly, we live in a world where romance is a delusional ideal of commercial love. Romance itself is a multi-faceted concept. We’ve taken the human out and filled it with regurgitated concepts of lust, envy and self-loathing. Which explains the unorthodox method women have been taking towards dating. Setting up timeframes for intercourse, waiting months before your wants and needs are brought to the table. It makes everything seem so staged, with special props (clothes, make-up, surgery, weaves), lighting (dim, pulled up, sucked in, snatched back) and a script 

(facebooking your date, studying his timeline, trolling his instagram, twitter and other dating profiles before the first “hello”). 

Step off the stage and consider your spiritual name, I mean who are you? Sounds redundant or a sophomoric approach to self-realization but who you truly are is closely tied to your unconscious mantras. Consider this, if you avoid scripting the storyline of your life, your thoughts and interactions will start steering the wheel of your life. For example…. you’re having a terrible day at work because your moronic colleague complained that your communication skills are unimpressive simply ingenious. They babble on and on about their disdain for your team building approach and you start to believe every word!  You internalize their conception and allow it to become a part of who you are. “I do dislike my co-workers, I am unenthused during building sessions, because they sound so stupid! I don’t like sitting in a circle listening to infantile voices.” Wait!!! Is this the sound track in your mind? Wow, that’s heavy and negative….who are you really? Take control and stop allowing these energy sucking vampires from taking hold of your soul. 

Make your mind and heart a castle that covets the most precious stone….. YOU!  Take action, this is what you’re going to do, start getting to know yourself…start meditating for a couple of minutes a day, there is no excuse you are alone, so make the best of it. Allow only meaningful people in your life. Look in the mirror every morning and say…. “its ok I’m not perfect but I have a great heart.” Pick something beautiful about yourself and hone on it as if it’s the Holy Chalice, revered by all but only you ….yes you possess it. Last but not least, as this list of soul busting activities can have infinite roads, start writing and saying your life wants into existence. This step is key as this will start to re-write the internal sound track of your life. We all have it and at times it’s not a quick fix. The mind is malleable and fragile, it needs practice and belief to achieve infinitely. 

I understand you are single and want more advice on men but really you are single…because of you.